A car is not a truck, in ANY language.

It looks like it is going to be up to me to actually share some reality with you, our gentle readers. Those Schaller brothers have a way of encouraging each other to stray farther and farther from actual events! Sheesh.

I know it has been ages and ages since I have blogged. I thought Erica was doing an excellent job replacing me for a time. But it is becoming very clear (as noted above), that it is time for me to dust off my laptop and get to it.

So, our friends Bob, Erica & West & Donald, Jane, Cara & Caity Rose have all headed off. Not quite home, but to other, greener pastures. And then within less than 48 hours Mark’s brother and belle-soeur, Eric and Paulette, replaced them. So, thankfully, we will not have to face being in Provence alone for some months.

I think the rash of good-byes disturbed Maddox a little bit. A day or two after the great exodus, while I was tucking Maddox in bed for a nap, I had an amusing conversation with him. Why is it all the best conversations happen at tuck-in time? Anyway, it started with him wondering if he will still have to take naps when he is a teenager. I assured him that while he wouldn’t have to, he would probably want to. He looked at me like I was insane. Then he went on to point out that Jasper would be a teenager before him, and then stated that Jasper would die first. At this “realization” he looked crushed and said, “But I always want to have Jasper! I don’t want her to die first!” And of course, as a loving, empathic parent I wanted to take that pain away. I managed to catch myself before I said, “Well, maybe it will be OK and you will die first.” Geez! What was I thinking!? But what are you supposed to say? I ended up saying something pretty lame like, “It’s just best not to think about it.” So lame.

Speaking of lame, I have been continuing to be involved with outings with l’ecole maternelle. Last week I went on another hike with his class. Overall it seemed to go much better than my first. For one thing, I already had all those helpful imperative commands under my belt (“Arrete!” “Avance” etc). It was a lovely hike up over a near-by hill with really breathtaking views across a valley. At the end of the day, a number of the kids, from the petit class especially, several of whom have not yet seen their third birthday, were so tired as to be stumbling more than walking. Like some sort of mini Bataan Death March.

Towards the end of the hike, we were walking along a road that carried some traffic. So, every once in a while a car would come by. I saw a vehicle coming so I yelled out, “Attention! Une voiture!” After I yelled it, I looked up to see two absolutely indignant 3-year olds with thunderclouds hovering over their wee heads. They looked at me, aghast and said, “THAT is NOT a car! That is a truck!!” (translated here for your ease of reading). I was pretty tired myself, which may be why I barely stifled my eye-roll and “puh-lease” and found myself saying, “C’est la même chose!” (It’s the same thing). It turns out, thems fighting words in the 3-year-old set in any country. I didn’t catch all of what they said in response, but it is probably just as well. Let’s just say their already low opinion of me, dropped even farther. You see, my lameness continues.

Last Tuesday I had my first swimming lesson with Maddox’s class. You may recall that I got myself “certified” to be an official parent helper on the insane trips to the pool with l’ecole maternelle. Yes, these crazy people actually knowingly get into a pool with 40 some children, none of whom actually know how to swim. For me, my first day was a real trial-by-fire sort of experience. For the first time on one of these excursions I was paired with someone who didn’t speak a lick of English. I thought to myself, (with some effort), “OK, this is good. This will be good practice for my French.” And to just ratchet up the challenge of it; the powers that be chose to give me and my partner more kids than anyone else had.

All the kids were wearing waterwings, which helped a lot. Most of the kids were very comfortable flopping around in the water with the wings as support. Not Maddox. He has always viewed water wings with a jaundiced, distrustful eye. As a result he clung to me like a barnacle during much of the open water activities.

Some of the activities were pretty bizarre and chaotic. The first of which was “Pirate Boat” which involved two thin rubber boats (really, more like mats), a bunch of water noodles as swords, and then total chaos while all 9 kids writhed and smacked each other in the head with noodles and knocked each other off the boats. Maddox was absolutely terrified. And really, I couldn’t blame him. But it did make it harder for me to be of reasonable help with the other 8 kids I needed to keep from drowning.

Well, in the end, no kid died on my watch. And the only tears were the ones I caused in my own kid (so that hardly counts, right? I mean, that happens almost every day around here.). And it was good for my French. I even learned a new phrase – “Attachez-vous!” (put on your seat belt). So, I guess it was a good day.